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People date for a lot of different reasons, but when you are trying to live a modest, Godly life, you must have a clear understanding of why you are dating – and even whether you should be dating right now at all.

While people in the world have their own dating agendas, we will focus on three of the reasons that many Apostolic people might give for why they are dating.

Companionship

This is not a “bad” reason to date but, if you really think about it, you may have to admit this wouldn’t be inside of God’s perfect will for you. If you are going out with various people just because you are lonely, that is not really a good reason. In God’s eyes, dating is not an activity intended to ease your feelings of loneliness. While such feelings are valid, they can be better addressed by spending time with friends and/or family.

Something to Do

This answer would most likely be given by young people and, like the one above, is NOT a good reason to date. For young Christians especially, dating is a minefield of temptations. To enter the dating scene with no plan or purpose other than to fill your Friday nights is potentially a dangerous thing to do.

Life Partner

The search for a life partner is why you should be dating. In order to find your husband or wife, you must spend time with them; learn about their personality, dedication and goals. This is where dating comes in. As you meet different people, keep this in mind. If you know that someone is not suitable to be your husband or wife, then there is no point in dating them.

When you are dating, if you keep in mind that this person could be your future spouse, it will help you to remember to treat them with the respect that they deserve.

There is another question that is just as important as why you are dating and that is this: Why is the OTHER Person Dating?

Let’s say that a young woman is dating in search of her future spouse. A young man is dating, but only because he wants someone to sit with at conferences and to take out to eat afterward. This young woman and man find each other and are dating for a few months. The young woman thinks things are going well. The young man knows this isn’t his ideal match, but there’s no one else catching his interest right now, so he keeps dating her.

Do you see the problem? It is not that the young man has made a promise to the young woman, but as Apostolics we need to hold each other in higher regard that the world may hold their dating partners. This young man is essentially holding on to something that he already knows is not what God has for him. This isn’t fair to anyone involved.

Just because you are dating to find your life partner doesn’t mean that dating can’t be fun! You will still be getting out there, meeting interesting people and having a good time. The only difference is that once you know the person is not for you in the long term, you should stop “dating” them.

God has a plan for all of His people, and if you seek that perfect will, dating can lead to a marriage with God at the center and to happiness beyond what you can imagine.

Contributed by Cindy Smith

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Do not be yoked together with unbelievers. For what do righteousness and wickedness have in common? Or what fellowship can light have with darkness? What harmony is there between Christ and Belial? What does a believer have in common with an unbeliever? What agreement is there between the temple of God and idols? For we are the temple of the living God. As God has said: “I will live with them and walk among them, and I will be their God, and they will be my people.” Therefore come out from them and be separate, says the Lord. Touch no unclean thing, and I will receive you. I will be a Father to you, and you will be my sons and daughters, says the Lord Almighty. -2 Corinthians 6:14-18

The above scripture makes it clear that when two people are unequally yoked that it is not pleasing to God. The mistake that some make, however, is thinking that just because someone goes to an Apostolic church or calls themselves Apostolic that they are automatically going to be on the same page.

If you take a moment to think about this, you will realize it’s not the case. Next Sunday, take a look around your church. Are you on the exact same page when it comes to holiness, level of dedication to services and special events and other important issues as every other brother or sister in the room? Of course not! It’s not a big deal if your personal convictions about holiness are not exactly the same as the person sitting next you in church. It IS, however, a big deal if those convictions are the not the same as those of the person that you are dating.

Remember that you shouldn’t be dating just to have something to do on a Friday night. You are dating to find your life partner. For that reason, anyone who would not make a good life partner for you also does not make a good choice of a person to date for you. It doesn’t matter how pretty, handsome, funny or smart they are. If one of you is more dedicated and passionate about the things of God than the other, it’s not a good match.

Let’s be clear that this doesn’t mean one person is BETTER than the other. If one ox is a certain height and the other is much shorter, that doesn’t mean one ox is better than the other, it’s just means they are unequal. For each of those animals, there will be a match, just not with each other. The same is true for two Apostolics who may not see things the exact same way. It’s not about feeling superior; it’s just about finding a good match.

If a woman feels the draw to be at church every single time the doors are open, the best match for her is not going to be the guy who only comes to church on Sunday. That doesn’t mean he’s not a good Christian. It doesn’t mean he isn’t filled with Holy Ghost and doing God’s work, but it does mean he isn’t a perfect match for someone who feels a bit deeper dedication to the House of God.

There are many wonderful Apostolic men and women who would not be equally yoked with you. The only way that you can have the absolute best that God has for you is to wait for someone who is a spiritual match.

Contributed by Cindy Smith