Date the person you want…Rather Than Hoping the Person You’re Dating Becomes the Person You Want.
Most single people have an image of the kind of person that they want. The list of desirable traits probably includes items relating to looks, personality, goals and level of dedication to God. What often happens, however, is that when a person finds a potential partner who has SOME of the desired traits, he or she continues dating the person and overlooks the rest and hopes the person will change and become the kind of person that they want.
When you date someone who is not what you want in a partner, it is not fair to you or to them. It is not fair to you because you are, in a sense, settling for a partner that does not possess the traits that you truly desire in a mate. It is not fair to them because they probably do not even know that they fall short of what you want, and they will continue to invest themselves in a relationship in which they are not valued as much as they deserve to be.
If the relationship continues to the point of marriage, you are setting yourself up for disappointment down the road. Many people get married still holding on to the hope that the other person is going to change. Why marry someone hoping that they will become something else? Doesn’t it make more sense to find a person who is already what you want?
That doesn’t mean that you should be looking for a perfect person. Such a person doesn’t exist. This is not about seeking perfection. Instead, it is about finding a partner who shares your ideals, dedication, outlook on life and general plans for the future.
For example, if you are dating someone who never wants to have children but a family is very important to you, it is a good idea to find someone whose goals for the future more closely match yours. It doesn’t matter if the person seems like a perfect fit in every other way. This is a major thing that should not be overlooked.
Some would say, “Well, she’ll change her mind once we get married.” Maybe she will, but maybe she won’t. That means you give up your chance to have children OR you coerce someone who doesn’t really want to be a mother to have kids. Either way, life is not going to be very pleasant.
As an apostolic man or woman, you need to pray and seek God’s face about who you should be dating. You need to pray that God would send the person that will be a beautiful addition to your life rather than someone who will add strife and cause heartache.
Every relationship and marriage is going to have its share of ups and downs. But when you find the person that you want rather than hoping your partner will change into who you want, you will be starting your relationship off on the right foot and will have a much better chance of success in the long term.