First, you are sinning against God and feel guilty about it and need to turn from your sins and seek His forgiveness through faith in Jesus Christ who died on the cross to take our sin penalty and was raised from the dead. You need to feel genuine sorrow over your sin and sincerely desire to turn away from it and not return to it. You need to truly want to live in such a way you are honoring and glorifying God.
That’s when it dawned on me. That I don’t believe in me. And that I don’t believe I can succeed. In anything. You know how our world teaches us that we should believe in ourselves? And believe that we can do anything and everything? That we should chase after our dreams? That we should trust in ourselves? That we should believe we can do whatever we set our minds to? And so on? How could I keep moving ahead in my ministry work without believing in me? And in what I could accomplish in my strength?