Pastoral Advice and Dating


You know how important it is to seek your pastor’s advice when making major life decisions. What is a bit baffling is that many saints who do know this seem to forget it when it comes to dating. In place of seeking Godly counsel may come an “I want what I want” type of attitude that often bucks up against the words of wisdom being offered by the man of God.

What He Might Say

Perhaps one reason that some are hesitant to seek advice from their pastor is that, deep down, they know that the advice given might not be all positive. When you are considering dating someone, it is easy to get that starry-eyed-he-or-she-can-do-nothing-wrong attitude. On the other hand, your pastor will not be wearing any such rose colored glasses and will be able to give a more objective opinion of the situation.

He might say it’s a good idea to date the person, but he also might say that his counsel would be to avoid that person.

Why He Might Say It

If you have a pastor that you trust (and if you don’t, you need to find another church), then you need to believe that any advice that he gives is only for your good. If you have a godly pastor whose aim is to help the flock grow in their walk with God, then his only motive will be trying to make sure that you don’t make a decision that could have a negative impact on your spiritual health.

Your pastor might know the person that you are considering dating, or he might call and speak with his or her pastor. In these ways, your pastor may know something about the personality and dedication of the person that you do not know.

Why You Should Listen

There are many decisions in your life that are important in the long term, but perhaps none more so than dating. When you are dating, there is a chance that you will end up marrying this person. The person that you choose for your spouse is one of the single most important decisions that you will ever make.

For that reason, if you were ever going to take the advice of your pastor, this is the time to do it. Taking your pastor’s advice about this matter could save you from much heartache and years of pain and turmoil down the road.

Some people get very defensive when their pastor does not give his stamp of approval on the person that they want to date.  Just remember that if you trust your pastor, you have to trust that he only has your best interest in mind.

Of course, the final decision will be up to you, and you certainly have the option to go against the advice of your pastor and date anyone that you want. Just keep in mind that the person that you ultimately marry will have an impact on your happiness for the rest of your life. Including pastoral advice in the decision making process is a wise thing for every saint of God to do.

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